There was the most peculiar kid in our town
Was always late for school
He never learned to tell a verb from a noun and always broke the rules
Though they looked upon him as a clown
Yet he wasn't such a fool
Puddin' Head Jones was fat and funny, dumber than sticks and stones
That is just why the kids all called him: Wooden Head Puddin' Head Jones
He couldn't spell Constantinople
Didn't know beans from bones
Pencils and books were never made for Wooden Head Puddin' Head Jones.
Teacher told his mother she would take him right in hand and teach him a thing or two
Like his older brother he began to understand, he learned everything she ever knew.
All of the kids to teacher carried candy and ice cream cones but who do you think the teacher married?
Wooden Head Puddin' Head Jones.