Stephen Sondheim

Food and Drink

Novelty

Clothing/Apparel

Money

Showtunes

1997

[JOANNE:]
Here's to the ladies who lunch,
Everybody laugh.
Lounging in their caftans,
And planning a brunch
On their own behalf.

Off to the gym,
Then to a fitting,
Claiming they're fat.
And looking grim,
'Cause they've been sitting,
Choosing a hat.
Does anyone still wear a hat?
I'll drink to that.

Here's to the girls who stay smart,
Aren't they a gas?
Rushing to their classes,
In optical art,
Wishing it would pass.

Another long exhausting day,
Another thousand dollars.
A matinee, a Pinter play,
Perhaps a piece of Mahler's.
I'll drink to that.
And one for Mahler!

Here's to the girls who play wife,
Aren't they too much?
Keeping house but clutching,
A copy of LIFE,
Just to keep in touch.

The ones who follow the rules,
And meet themselves at the schools,
Too busy to know that they're fools.
Aren't they a gem?
I'll drink to them!
Let's all drink to them!

And here's to the girls who just watch,
Aren't they the best?
When they get depressed,
It's a bottle of Scotch,
Plus a little jest.

Another chance to disapprove,
Another brilliant zinger,
Another reason not to move,
Another vodka stinger.
I'llllllllllllllllll,
Drink to that.

So here's to the girls on the go,
Everybody tries.
Look into their eyes,
And you'll see what they know,
Everybody dies.

A toast to that invincible bunch,
The dinosaurs surviving the crunch.
Let's hear it for the ladies who lunch.
Everybody rise!
Rise!
Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise!
Rise!

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